Why Healing Shouldn't Be The Goal Of Your Spirituality

Frater Lucis · 9 October 2024

Disclaimer: This article is going to require you to put your thinking cap on. For those trying to achieve change in their life and can't understand why it isn't happening despite all the work, the answers are within. For those who insist that they must kill off their Ego, they will remain stuck and will need to return to this article again and again until they understand the subtleties within.

There is often a hyper-focus on "healing" in the spiritual community. It's important to note, there is a difference between the act of healing by a healer and the goal of healing by the seeker. The act of healing is an honorable thing, as is seeking out a healer. However as a seeker, one needs to be careful with the narrative of becoming healed. Sometimes this narrative is pushed by amateur or well-meaning healers, other times the healing narrative we are about to talk about is formed in the echo chamber of the spiritual community as a whole.

The typical narrative I am talking about involves using any methodology you are attracted to, in order to face your triggers and begin a spiritual journey toward the dark night of the soul (DNOTS). So far so good. Once you get to DNOTS, you are supposed to face your fears and triggers and then essentially kill them off. This is often referred to as killing off the Ego. And suddenly, by doing this, you are healed.

Except, what countless people experience is nothing gets better. They often feel worse, and on top of this, they don't even feel like themselves anymore. It begs the question, what have you healed from? The folks who get attracted to this narrative end up realizing that they often end up leaving large parts of themselves behind - and they end up feeling lost because of it. Those who get overly involved in the healing narrative allow their journey to become a crutch, play victim, and become dependent on the label of being healed or wounded.

I am seeing this occur more and more over the last few years. It's happening because an entire portion of the spiritual journey is skipped for expediency.

For one moment, replace the word "healing" with "acknowledging". This will put "healing" in the correct perspective. Instead of recovering FROM something, you are heading TOWARD an acknowledgment or recognition of something. So this begs the question, what are you acknowledging? Acceptance... the acceptance of everything within you, and the acceptance of everything that surrounds you. This includes the things that may have been traumatic in your past.

If you want to learn more about the importance of acceptance, read this article.

It is at this stage that the "healing crowd" will lead you down the route of toxic positivity. Acceptance doesn't mean honoring everything and integrating it all into your life. Acceptance also doesn't mean that you like or enjoy something. For instance, I don't like taxes but I accept that they are valid and exist. People often conflate acceptance and enjoyment - but this is the path of the Fool. Life is nuanced, and if you want to spiritually grow, you must become nuanced as well.

Acceptance only means the recognition that something is real, valid, and true. Everything within you, and outside of you. What you do with this knowledge is the next step. Awareness & discernment.

Awareness is talked about far less in the "healing" crowd and discernment is developed through awareness. I work with so many people who aren't even aware of how they feel throughout most days. But understanding where you are emotionally will lead you to the discernment you need to choose the direction in life you would like to go.

One builds awareness, first through meditation, by learning to clear the mind of the chattering monkey. Many folks get hung up on thinking clearing the mind is the end goal. Again, this is the game of the Fool. This is another modern-day blind built-in to throw off the Fools. The purpose is to clear the mind to build awareness of who you are. First, you are training yourself to do it in a calm controlled environment. If you can do it in a calm environment, then you will eventually be able to do it when the shit is hitting the fan and life is trying to knock you off kilter. That's the REAL PURPOSE of meditation. Training yourself to build awareness of yourself, even when you aren't meditating.

Through all this comes the real power, especially if you've been through something traumatic. From there you will have an awareness of what is in the past, and how you felt then, versus what you are actually experiencing now and how you actually feel now. People often find that through awareness, they have many feelings that are simply just habitual. They begin to learn how to focus on things greater than themselves. They realize some feelings are there due to past trauma, some from beliefs and narratives we build in our minds, and other narratives taught to us by others. Awareness will allow you to separate these out, to become the observer so you can discern which feelings are real, valid, and true for each moment you are in.

If you need a reading or someone to talk to, make sure to reach out here.